Day 7: Affection

This morning our family of four joined Bradley's home church for their annual Homecoming event. My in-laws kept Mac and Mary Brooks while we tailgated yesterday, so it made perfect sense to spend the night and come along.

After service, the fellowship hall was filled with an covered dish lunch, and so many happy faces and old family friends itching to get their hands on our babies.

It meant the world to hear from people who'd known Bradley when he was Mac's age, to learn more about his little personality then and how much our children remind them of him.

When we got home from church, stuffed and sleepy, Mac took this new ride for a spin and even let Mary Brooks sit next to him for a photo op. (No movement, I assure you.)

I love the excitement on her face and her absolute adoration for that newly-minted three-year-old..

May they always love each other so much!

*This post is day 7 in my 31 Days of What Matters.

The Four of Us

Let's take a brief intermission to look at some shots of my three favorite people on Earth. The photo shoot that began in early March with Mary Brooks' first signs of sickness got a redo two weeks later, just days after we were discharged.

We were so thankful to celebrate our family being whole again! I can't get enough of these beautiful pictures Christy Hollywood Photography captured for us.

This is a bittersweet shot, taken just minutes before MB first became ill. I love how sweet Mac is to his baby sister, and how tiny she looks here at just two weeks old!

If you look closely, you can see a raised incision mark on her abdomen.
Our little four-week-old fighter!

Mac likes to tell us we're big, he is "wittle" and Mary Brooks is tiny. He's demonstrating this with his "tootsies" right here. It's one of my favorites!

We're thrilled Christy could come back when we had even more to celebrate than the first time.

I wondered after Valentine's Day how I could ever feel so happy in 'real', non-newborn life. Coming home from the hospital the second time, however, was even sweeter.

You can see more of the first shoot here and the second shoot here at Christy's blog.

Life in Slow Mo

January is my least favorite month of the year. The gray, wet and dreary weather after so many festive weeks always weighs me down.

This year is no different, but while January gloominess weighs me down figuratively, a growing baby girl is weighing me down quite literally. At least I'm grateful for the latter!

I've written a handful of posts in my head, but time always seems to get away from me. There's a lot to be done around here - cleaning, purging, organizing, folding and general pre-baby preparation.

Not to mention actual work and the day-to-day running of a household and a two-year-old. (Hold back your laughter; the "running" of a two-year-old is a hilarious concept, I'm aware.)

While I've gotten little of the above accomplished, I have spent a lot of time in thought and prayer and, if I'm honest, panic about what's to come.

I've determined what needs to be prepared (meals, nursery details, baby gear, grocery lists, tax documents, directions to Mac's school, doctor's appointments) before our due date. I've made lists so long I had to stop writing for fear I'd send myself into an anxiety-induced tailspin. And then there's the very real idea of coming home with a baby in our arms.

In sweet moments with Mac, I wonder if I'll be able to enjoy him and focus on him the same way with another child in our house. What if he wants me to snuggle with him and I can't? What if he's hurt and I can't just scoop him up? How will I manage the needs of two children I love so much?

In tougher times, I question my ability to handle two little people when I'm unable to wrangle just the one. Not my most optimistic moments, to be sure, but questions that seem to be on constant replay lately.

Although there's always something to be done around here and plenty of "to do" items left on my list each evening, I've become quite aware of how calm and relatively quiet our life is right now. B and I know how our days and evenings will go, how many hours between bedtime and waketime, how to squeeze in errands and how to make a cranky/hurt/sad/exhausted Mac smile.

Hand me newborn Mac next month and I could probably figure it all out a lot more quickly. But the idea of getting to know a new, utterly unique creature is boggling my already sleep-deprived mind. And the assurance that we'll love her just as much as we love our handsome ham of a son? Wow. It's difficult to imagine.

And yet here we are, a month or less left, wondering when she'll be here, what she'll look like, how much we'll all melt at the very sight of her sweet face.

I'm trying not to feel guilty for skimping on housework, dinners and organizing as I stare off into space hashing this out - all the while knowing I'll never really figure it out. It can only be like the first go round: you get tossed into the deep end and you just swim. It's hard, but you love it.

Surely I'll be saying the same thing in a few short weeks, right?

And certainly I can't be the only mom who's ever wondered these things. As I slow down physically, my mind has begun to race with a thousand possibilities, questions and scenarios that I'll never truly be able to get a handle on as a mother of one.

I don't regret the two-hour nap I took with our only child in his big boy bed yesterday, the Chick-fil-a lemonade dates we've had lately or the evenings we three have ventured out to make memories while we can. Not to say our lives will be over once Mac's sister arrives, but life as we know it sure will. And we can't wait.

In the meantime, I'm slowing down significantly in every way. I'm saying prayers of gratitude no matter how many times I waddle to the bathroom or how comical my attempts to take off my own boots may be. (B picked a bad year to give me a new pair for Christmas.... Where's Candid Camera when you need them?)

Pictures and stories about our hysterical, growing Mac-man to come, if only to preserve this sweet time for the crazy season ahead.

Sending all of you lots of bright, non-dreary January love! xoxo

A New Day

To be this happy on a Monday is a rare and much appreciated treat. Very thankful for the prayers, emails, comments and calls so many of you sent our way after last week's session. I'm thrilled to report that it is a new day!

Naps are back, scream time gets shorter by the day and our happy, rested boy is back. For the most part. Toddlerhood brings challenges all its own, and I know those will take a while to work out. (As will the incisors.) But what a blessed gift sleep is!

Our happier, napping Mac had a wonderful weekend with his family. We visited the park and took a long walk with friends, picked a few "punkings" with Daddy, made pancakes, laid low and just had a quiet, relaxing two days together. Heavenly.

Mac has fabulous taste in pumpkins, even befriending this one:


I'm posting a few pics, but keep in mind I changed right from workout/playground (read: sweaty and unkempt) clothes and sprinted to the pumpkin patch. Hence the fabulous coiffure you may notice.

Regardless, it was a great way to spend an afternoon and the weekend has melted into a lovely start to this week. Here's hoping the same is true for all of you!


Now to go catch up on all the things left undone amidst the screamy, sickly, scared-this-would-last-forever reality I've been experiencing these past few weeks.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your sweet words and support.

Happy Monday!

Smith Family, Party of Four!

Thank you so much for your well wishes yesterday! We're very, very excited to welcome baby #2 in February of next year.

I am just over 14 weeks and feel like I'm turning a corner on some of the first trimester less-than-delightful stuff. I'd love to be a little less sloth-like in coming months!

This baby has, as another blogger put it, really pulled out all the stops from day one. (We've known for ten weeks.) I have felt much more pregnant this time around.

I even thought it must be twins! Surely one little bean couldn't have such a powerful effect on its mama already, right? Wrong.

With Mac, I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test; I was practically symptom-free and in total awe. "Shouldn't I be feeling something?" This time around, that memory makes me laugh.

But there has never been a better reason to feel less than fabulous. We are thankful to have heard baby's heartbeat four (!!) times now and look forward to an ultrasound at our next appointment.

In the meantime, I am soaking up every last minute with our sweet, busy, growing, teething only child. I hope his grins stick around once his baby brother or sister arrives!

A few outtakes from yesterday's 90-second photo shoot:

This one's probably my favorite. I feel the same way, Mac. Yay!!

I haven't thought too much about how I'll balance working from home with baby, Mac, Bradley and Blue in 2012. Not to mention finding time for laundry, cooking, a shower or a walk around the block.

God has blessed us richly, and I just know He'll help me figure it all out. Or at least send friends to encourage me to bathe occasionally.

Thank you again, sweet friends! Feel free to share your words of wisdom for life with two. I'm taking notes!

A Little (Big) News