Day 16: My First Giveaway!

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Today marks my first, and likely my only, giveaway ever! I'm tickled pink to share something I'm crazy about: a line of timeless children's products made here in America with young moms at the helm.

MB goes after jewelry already...

Have you heard about The Beaufort Bonnet Company? This summer an insanely stylish friend of mine bought the company, formerly known as Susu & John, and has made its products cuter than ever.

The heart of the collection is the Beaufort bonnet, named after the Lowcountry South Carolina town where the style originated generations ago. Mary Brooks got to try on some precious Beaufort bonnets recently, and I was smitten!

MB was cursed with given the same fair skin I have, so neither of us strays far from wide-brimmed hats or SPF one million. Perhaps my favorite aspect of the Beaufort bonnet is that it combines a timeless baby style with a truly practical purpose - and it's washable to boot.

This fishtail monogram is my absolute favorite! And a corduroy bonnet for fall? Love.

Boys aren't left out; they look just as stylish in a Beaufort bucket hat. I adore the monogram you can place on them: vertical or horizontal, one or three letters.

TBBC also offers clothes - jumpers, john johns, bloomer sets, pinafores, diaper covers - and giftables, from bow-tied swaddle blankets to this precious seersucker bow holder, which comes already stocked. Add a monogram and you are in "best gift ever" territory.



The Beaufort Bonnet Company's hats run in sizes from newborn to 3T, so even if your little ones aren't quite as tiny as Mary Brooks, you can still top them off adorably.

As soon as I saw this pic, I ran out and got a haircut.

The Beaufort Bonnet Company is giving one reader a custom bonnet or bucket hat of her choice! You choose the fabric, the monogram and the lucky baby who receives it. Corduroy, seersucker, gingham, college spirit bonnets - the possibilities are endless!

For the rest of us, The Beaufort Bonnet Company is offering $1 monograms on their hats with the code AnneSays$1Mono. Bonnets can be monogrammed on the back or the brim, and each piece is interchangeable, so you can mix and match.

To enter, just leave a comment with your email address so I can contact you! Entries will be accepted until 10:00 am on Friday, October 19th, and I'll announce a winner by noon.

In the meantime, take a peek at TBBC's new website and their Facebook page. Many of you have had sweet things to say on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram about Mary Brooks wearing their bonnets, so I'm thrilled to be hosting this giveaway.

A big thank you to my friends at The Beaufort Bonnet Company for sharing a little pint-sized style with the rest of us!

*This post is day 16 in my 31 Days of What Matters. 

New Mom Meal Plan

I don't know about your town, but all signs here point to a baby boom in the next six months. The stork is extra busy around these parts and there are flocks of underfed, sleep-deprived new parents to prove it.

My favorite way to meet new babies is to come bearing supper. (Sweet Kristen lives by her mom's adage, "Knock with your feet!" I laugh about this when I have a toddler by the hand, a baby gift, a bag of food and my keys. I promise I'm not kicking your doors in, new moms!)

The uptick in new mom meals made recently has given me flashbacks of the unadulterated gratitude such suppers brought out in me. A moment of company plus a meal for our family once you're gone? Wow. Best gift ever.

I'm no Paula Deen, nor am I the world's most normal eater (we'll discuss my bizarre list of pickiness over super-plain sandwiches sometime), but I'm getting better with practice.

Casseroles aren't really my thing - too much cheese, not quite enough variety. I realize I'm the only person south of the Mason-Dixon who feels this way, and that's ok.

Other one-dish meals, though, can be easy to fix and very much appreciated.

Here are a few of my latest fall favorites to bring to homes after the stork stops in. Add in a side of salad and, depending on the meal, either corn muffins or Italian bread and voila - you're a gourmet chef!

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*Pioneer Woman's White Chili - Such a favorite around here. We're having it tonight, actually!

*Aunt Lynn's Lasagna - She may not be a household name to you, but my aunt's recipe quickly became a classic during my college years. When she'd send up two at a time, I became the most popular girl in my building overnight!

*Butternut Squash Soup - Again, a Smith family favorite. Creamy, easy to double and perfect for chilly nights.

*Pasta e Fagioli Soup - Patterned after an Olive Garden recipe, this is such a hearty meal. Perfect in a big mason jar, the ultimate "don't return me" dish. If only it came with the addictive OG breadsticks...

*Chick-fil-A Deliciousness - While I haven't actually delivered one of these meals, some thoughtful friends who know us all too well brought us CFA after Mac was born. Boy, did we enjoy it!

My grandmother visited once with a Chick-fil-A lunch in hand, a homemade banana pudding for later and a gallon of CFA sweet tea to top it all off. I nearly died of excitement!

Bottom line: don't be intimidated when cooking for new mom friends; all they're really hoping for is a bright spot in a hectic day.

Pick up take-out, make sandwiches, bring by a gift card - just come. Leave enough for leftovers and be sure your containers are tossable.

Start and end the visit with a big hug and assure the mom that she, the baby (and the house, if she's a stress case like me!) could not look better if she tried. But that you really, really hope she didn't try.

What are your favorite recipes for new parents? Any casseroles to try that will change my mind?

How Love Can Trump A Lack of Sleep

We all have new mom friends - lots of us still are new moms, or one day will be. I got some great suggestions and thought hard (really hard, as my brain has made the early days a hazy clump of diaper changes and pajama pants) about how others reached out to us after Mac's birth.

A few ideas to make new moms' lives easier:

• Give them just a moment. The first week to ten days are a flurry of hospitals, doctor visits, family, friends and, oh yes, a brand new child. Let them settle in before you reach out.
  
  
• Offer, don't ask. Offer to do something specific - we women aren't always the best at asking for what we need or making suggestions if a friend says, "What can I do?"
  
  
• Help with thank you notes. Can you address them? Write them out as she nurses? Stamp and mail them for her? The nicest thing a coworker did for me was pick up stamps on her way to my house; I had 20 stampless thank you notes waiting to be mailed. I just couldn't get to the post office!
  
  
• Share food. Always a winner. Our small group used an online meal registry to coordinate suppers for us; a friend put out monthly calendars at a baby shower last year so we could each sign up for dinners. Even sending a grocery store or restaurant gift card would be appreciated - particularly if they deliver!
  
  
• Grab store-bought food. Don't feel bad! Most new parents forget to eat anything, so don't hesitate to grab a lasagna from the Fresh Market or, as one sweet couple did for us, bring over favorite Chick-fil-A combos for the family. It's the thought that counts, not the complexity of your generations-old casserole recipe.
  
  
• Send hand-written notes of love and encouragement. Checking the mail is always a treat when sweet cards are there to greet you.
  
  
• Reach out regularly, long past the first week home. Another new mom would text me occasionally with messages like, "Encouragement for today: You WILL sleep again!" or "You're already doing a wonderful job." They made good days better and tough days more manageable.
  
  
• Be sappy if it strikes you! My dad is not a gushing, emotional type; he leaves that to my mom and to me. The first month Mac was home, though, he finished an ordinary email with: "I'm very proud of you." I couldn't read anything else he wrote. It was just what I needed to know.
  
  If you're proud, thrilled, or even in awe of a newborn's sweetness - say it. Everyone wants to know they're loved, that others recognize the utter perfection of their child, and that their hard work isn't going unnoticed.
  
  
• Clean. If you're a close enough friend or family member, come over and chat while you sweep. Even better, let mom nap while you sweep, wipe down counters or fold laundry. That's a gift that keeps on giving.
  
  
• Mow that lawn! Men may not feel comfortable cleaning or casseroling (that's not a real thing), but if your next door neighbors have a new baby or are just plain under the weather, he could ride that John Deere over your invisible property line and mow their lawn too. I'm certain that would be appreciated.
  
  
• Chick-fil-A sweet tea. My grandmother and aunt came to visit and, after eating lunch with us, left me with a delicious gallon of CFA sweet tea. I don't know why that meant so very much, but it made the next few days delightful! This could just be me, though.
  
  
• Offer your time. Could you come over for an hour on a Saturday so mom can nap? Or grocery shop for the family? Or she and dad can talk over coffee like real adults? Just a moment without someone attached to you could feel fantastic to a new mom.
  
  
• Want to check one more thing off of her to do list before you leave? Look her in the eyes and say, "Do NOT write me a thank you note for this. Please." Bingo.
  
  What am I missing?

What I Needed to Know

Nine months ago, I went to the doctor at 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant; eight hours later, we were holding our son.

Yesterday my dear friend Kristen went to her own doctor's appointment at 38 weeks and 2 days along. Eight hours later, she and Charles were holding their son.

As you can imagine, I spent most of Tuesday glued to my phone, waiting for texts and calls - any news about our sweet friends and their boy. The rest of the day, I marveled at Mac and had flashbacks to the day he was born.

With so many of our friends having babies these days (have you met Brooke's twins?), I think often of what I wish I'd known as we brought Mac home. More often than not, someone had told me just what I needed to hear; I simply couldn't understand it until I'd lived through it myself.

A few tidbits I wish I'd fully understood:

• Babies cry. Even if they're fed, loved, diapered, bathed and comfortable. They can't talk, smile, laugh, or even move very much. It's a form of exercise and expression for them, one that wreaks havoc in the heart of every new parent.
  
  It's not a personal reflection on your abilities, your care, or even on you as a mom. Certainly it's important to ensure that all of their needs are met when they cry, but do know that there will be times nothing seems to make it better. And that's ok.
  
  A crib or a bassinet is a quiet, safe place for baby to be when you need just a moment's break from the "why can't I make this newborn happy right now?!?" game.
  
• Nursing is hard - but you can do it. It seems like the nursing "thing" should come quite naturally, but that isn't always the case. The unbelievable lactation consultants here (and their helpline) got me through the early, very tough weeks. Find someone to help you; reach out to other moms, go online for support and don't give up until you're ready.
  
  There have been ups and downs, but pushing through the (difficult) beginning got me to the much easier part - the one everyone said would come. I wouldn't say it was a cakewalk right away, but a month after Mac was born it was a much easier task for sure.
  
  The first week, when I was tearing up in my closet on the phone with a lactation consultant I'd never met, hoping none of our visitors heard me talking about my nursing, um, roadblocks? Wow. That felt like the longest week of my life. Why couldn't I make things work?
  
  The best promise anyone made me? "This will all be better in 72 hours. Count on it. You can call me directly if it isn't." She was right! We're still nursing nine months later, something I attribute greatly to the remarkable women who encouraged me in the early weeks.
  
  Do what you can, don't beat yourself up about anything and understand that any effort you make is a great thing. I hate when women say they "only" nursed for four weeks or six weeks or what have you. Multiply eight or nine daily feedings by those 28 or 42 days and you're looking at someone who fed her child hundreds of times that first month. Be proud!
  
• You'll be exhausted - but you'll be ok. The week after we brought Mac home, I was beyond exhausted. I was sleep-deprived to the point that I understood how people could use a "criminally insane" defense. It's possible to be that tired. There were no extra brain cells to devote to anything but the absolute essentials - and showering, my friends, is not always an essential.
  
  I need eight and a half hours of sleep a night to feel human, so two and a half hour stretches throughout the night were not cutting it. Quickly, though, my body adjusted. God gave me bursts of energy I couldn't explain, considering how little I was eating, drinking and taking care of myself.
  
  Suddenly, the rare four hour stretches felt like a luxury. I appreciated every last second of sleep and remained imminently grateful that Mac was a "feed me then let me go back to bed" baby in the wee hours. He needed milk, but he wanted sleep, too. Our nighttime routine was no-muss, no-fuss. Feed, change, swaddle, sleep. Wait three hours, rinse and repeat.
  
  It's exhausting even to type out now, as Mac sleeps nearly 12 hours a night. Somehow, though, we are wired to get through it. It won't last forever. That's a promise.
  
• Seriously. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Ah yes, the quintessential advice I absolutely ignored throughout my pregnancy. There's a reason it's the first thing out of every shower guest's mouth: it's true.
  
  I never mastered the art of catnapping while Mac slept; I was too "busy" doing other things until right as he began to stir. Then the realization washed over me: nothing I've been doing was more important than sleep. (This cycle repeated itself multiple times daily throughout my maternity leave.)
  
  That being said, there are moments when sleep can take a backseat. The night Mac was born, B and I stayed awake just marveling at him after our families left, examining his tiny hands and feet, kissing his sweet cheeks 'til the sun came up.
  
  When my mom came to stay with us days later, she urged me to nap while Mac was content and didn't need to eat. I couldn't tear myself away, though; his nose was so darling I just wanted to kiss it a thousand times. I'm glad I did.
  
  Bottom line: The house can wait, but sleep won't. Newborns, however, won't always be this tiny and sweet. Kissing them can take top billing on occasion.
  
• You were meant to be this baby's mom. In moments (late evening, usually, when newborn Mac settled into an unhappy spell) when I felt discouraged and even questioned if I was the best girl for the job, this thought carried me through. A friend gave me A Mom After God's Own Heart and it reminded me that I was blessed with Mac for a reason. God meant for me to raise this child. He had faith that I could do it; why didn't I?
  
• This is only a moment. More than new mom advice, this is a constant "must know" concept for me. As Solomon said, this too shall pass. Whatever it is, good or bad, these days go by quickly.
  
  The exhaustion fades, the itty-bitty outfits are packed away, the swaddling blanket is no longer necessary. The tough times are exceedingly difficult to remember and the newness of that time seems far away. It is just a moment. Enjoy every bit of it you can.
  
  Don't feel bad if not every moment is meant for Hallmark cards, though! I used to wonder if I was crazy not to understand the "cherish these precious times" comments I'd hear the first few weeks. (Mom says I told her I wanted to kick someone in the leg if I heard that again! I may or may not believe that's accurate....)
  
  Precious times? I was unshowered, underfed, sleep-deprived and totally clueless! Now, though, I see that it was a singularly sweet time in our lives... We won't ever get it back.
  
  When your newborn coos and nestles into your neck for a nap, enjoy it; it's only for a moment. By the same token, when colic kicks in and you wonder how much more you can take, remember that, in the scheme of your life, this is just a tiny moment.

A few honorable mention tidbits:

• It's ok to say "no, thank you" to company if you just can't handle it. Your sanity is top priority and everyone will understand!
• Don't clean your house before visitors come over. Stash dirty diapers if you must, but only do the bare minimum. Guests will feel bad if you do an ounce more; their goal is to drop off food and meet the baby, not judge your housekeeping skills. And they're there because they love you - bags under your eyes, dust bunnies and all.
• Books can be helpful and doctors can be godsends, but you know your baby better than anyone. No one else has ever had this baby, which makes you the expert. Trust your instincts!
• Ask for help when you need it. Ask for help before you need it. And certainly accept help when it's offered.
• If no one is calling or coming by, it's because they want to give you space and let you settle in. If you need a hand or an ear or a shoulder, reach out! Day or night, people want to help.
• Celebrate small victories if you're staring down a big (sleepless) battle.
• Change your game plan day by day if you need to. You're in survival mode; do what works best today. Tomorrow will figure itself out.
• It's ok to begin and end the day in your pajama pants if it gets you a little extra rest time!

What I wish now, on the other side of Mac's newborn days, is that I could remember what I found most helpful as a new mom. What did friends and family do that made my days (and long nights) easier? I'm working on a post for tomorrow, just so I can brainstorm ways to love on my new mom friends from afar.

In the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts, new moms, aunts, grandmothers and friends! What advice did you need to hear? What was the best thing anyone did to care for your new family?