Is this REALLY a question?

Subtitle: Not a fair fight.

Evidently, while I was visiting family the other weekend there was a little ceremony in LA. An intimate affair otherwise known as Kim Kardashian's circus wedding.

Guests were asked to wear black or white, in keeping with the nuptial "theme," and each of the bride's sisters (and mother) wore white and carried white bouquets. Someone was taking this "our royal wedding" concept a little far.

I could rant about the wedding, the lack of a groom in 90% of her pictures (true love!) and the beyond excess of 31 carats on your ring finger and $65 million in borrowed jewels, but I won't. I won't even borrow pics from People, a publication that paid a hefty price to cover the event exclusively.

I will, however, question their sanity in posting this when rating wedding guest fashions:

PIPPA vs. LINDSAY

Really? Is this even a question, People?

In one corner, Prince William's sister-in-law wearing Temperley of London on the way to her sister's evening April reception. Regal, classic and relatively covered up for such a black-tie affair. Dressed to be in the presence of royals and family members alike.

In the other corner, an actress whose only credit that comes to mind is easily is a Hayley Mills remake - a far cry from her appearance these days. (Day Old News calls her "baby grandma;" now I see her as a prematurely aged twenty-something with a knitting needle and a rocker at home. No offense to pretty, sweet grandmas everywhere.)

Y'all, there's no question; this fight was fixed from the beginning. Pippa might be insulted that this is up for discussion.

Lindsay, find your natural hair color, a qualified therapist and a new manager. Then lie low for moment. If you want to emulate Pippa's style in the meantime, do so with a touch less peroxide and perhaps a pashmina. You're too young to look this desperate!

P.S. I miss your face. Your natural face. And especially your face circa your Hallie Parker/Annie James days: